


If My Memory Serves Me Right

by thebrutalityofreality



Category: Bandom, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Killjoys, Flashbacks, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 21:12:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebrutalityofreality/pseuds/thebrutalityofreality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She can't remember much about the Killjoys. She can't remember what everyone wants her to remember. But through maturity, she is able to piece together something about the Killjoys based on something she witnessed many years ago: Party Poison had loved Fun Ghoul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If My Memory Serves Me Right

Everyone wanted to know everything and anything about the Fabulous Killjoys. The Killjoys were more or less superheroes. They fought for what was right, they tried to make a difference in the world. And though they had not been successful, their memory and legacy lived on. Everyone, /everyone/, remembered the Killjoys. Killjoys never die, that was the saying that became extremely prominent in the past twelve years after they were murdered. Though there was a very clouded perception in relation to the Killjoys. Who were they, actually? They hid so much in masks, helmets. No one actually knew who they were. No one truly knew who Party Poison was. He of course had a name before he became this more or less superhero. But that remained a mystery to everyone. People didn’t like when things were kept from them. The public did not like that the Killjoys left with so much left unanswered. There was only one person who potentially knew anything of interest or potential secrecy about the Killjoys.

She was fabulous in the eyes of those who did not know what she had been through. She was lucky, she had it all. She ran with the Killjoys twelve years old. Not only did she run with them, she was protected by them. At the time, every kid envied her. They wanted to be in her shoes. Now, even after she had witnessed the murder of her heroes and saviors, the once children still envied her. She was still seen as lucky, she still had the childhood that every young adult wanted. She personally did not see herself as lucky, nor deserving of the protection of the Killjoys. She didn’t exactly know how it became her in the situation, why she was so wanted, why they felt the need to protect her and ensure her safety above all else. She dis not fight it, but now as she was older, she often wondered why. And after meeting the Ultra V’s, she began to wonder if she really was worthy.

She currently sat in the corner of what she assumed was their home, though the term 'home' was so rarely used nowadays. No one really remained in one place for very long, it was honestly dangerous. The Dracs would come and destroy everything. Nothing was sacred anymore. She figured this was more a temporary base or station, they probably had a lot. She probably could ask, but they were much busier asking her questions. They wanted to know so much about the Killjoys, more or less every single detail. Did Poison dye his hair, what size shoe was Jet, was Kid the youngest, and was Ghoul as short as he looked in the pictures. Every single minute was full of irrelevant detail questions about the Killjoys. She had only been six years old at the time. It was twelve years ago. Her memory was extremely foggy.

“I…really don’t remember.” She would respond to each question, looking down at her fingers in fear of being yelled at or scolded by the older boys. She wasn’t even sure why she was here. Perhaps the hopes of getting a free meal was tempting. But nothing was free anymore. She wondered if she would be able to get some food if she promised some juicy story about one of the Killjoys. But she didn’t feel like she had the creativity to come up with something like that one the spot. Aside from the big moments, such as her witnessing their demise, she honestly did not recall much. If she were to make up a story and provide information that was fake, they probably wouldn’t let her live it down. Her ultimate decision was to sit and remain quiet, hope for food, leave if nothing came from it.

“Hey.” She looked up from the ground at the sound of the voice. She jumped at the sudden close proximity of the pink-haired man, whose name escaped her at the moment. “Did any of the Killjoys ever have sex?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her a bit.

She paled at this question, because she knew the answer to this. It was one of the few detailed memories she still had of her time with the Killjoys. She remembered it well, probably too well. Though she only truly realized what she saw years later, when she grew older and became aware of what sex was. She was way too embarrassed to let this secret out though. And she knew that the Killjoys definitely did not want this information getting out, it had been a secret to some of the other Killjoys. She admired and respected them even twelve years later, she knew that she had to keep certain things a secret still. No matter how tempting it might be to tell.

“I…I was only six!” She exclaimed. “I didn’t even know what sex was, and I definitely wouldn’t have known if they were having sex.”

“Aw, come on!” He whined as he walked away dramatically. “I was /dying/ to find out if Poison was gay or not!”

“Have you /seen/ him?” Another voice chimed in. “He screams gay from the get go.”

“I always thought Ghoul was gayer. He had really nice hair, really clean and pretty.”

“No way, Ghoul’s definitely straight.”

As the two continued to bicker, she forced herself not to laugh at the statements they were making. They were both right. Party Poison and Fun Ghoul were in fact gay. And they were gay for eachother as well. At the time, she had not realized what was going on. But one night, she accidentally walked in on two of her Killjoys heroes having sex.

 

_“Sweetie, get some rest. It’s late.” She heard Fun Ghoul say as he draped a blanket over her. It was old and a bit itchy, but it was one of the only blankets they had. The Killjoys of course gave the only blanket to the child, she needed it more than they did._

_“Why do I have to sleep outside tonight?” She asked Ghoul. Normally, they would camp out at night. She often slept in the backseat of the Trans Am. It was a bit more comfortable. Typically, because she got scared in the car alone at night, one of the Killjoys would sleep in the front seat to keep her company. But some nights, she would camp out for whatever reason. She was typically too tired to care and would fall right asleep. But tonight she felt full of energy from the old cans of Mountain Dew that her and Kobra Kid found earlier that day. Kid naively gave caffeine to a child, not seeing that it was a bad thing. Now she was wide awake after having three cans of soda._

_“It’s a camping night!” Ghoul exclaimed happily. “Camping nights are fun. You can see the stars, and you’re close to the fire, and you can put bugs in Jet’s hair. It’s fun, trust me.”_

_“I can hear you.” Jet Star said from his own sleeping spot right near the two of them. She only giggled happily at this._

_“Okay, I’ll sleep out here.” She agreed as she rested her face into the ratty old pillow that was found for her a few weeks ago._

_“Good. Sleep tight, alright.” Ghoul said as he smoothed some of her hair back and rose to his feet. She sat up and watched him walk away. She wasn’t surprised that he was not going to sleep right away. She was used to them running around at night, whether it be to search for any more finds, or to make sure that no Dracs would come in at night and attack. But someone always stayed to keep her company. Tonight it was Jet. He always looked tired to her. She would often suggest that he take a nap, but he would just smile and shrug it off. She was happy that he was finally going to get some sleep though. After a few minutes, she glanced over to his sleeping figure to see if he was still awake. Though as she heard the faint sound of snoring, she figured out the answer to her thought before needing to question the other. She sighed, feeling very awake. She wanted to talk to someone, she wanted to play a game with someone. But no one was around. She wished Jet was still awake, if only to ask him where the others had gone off to. She wasn’t going to wake him up for that. Maybe Ghoul would come back from wherever he had gone off to soon. He was here just a few minutes ago._

_Suddenly, she heard a rather unpleasant sound. Her initial reaction was to scoot a bit closer toward Jet, for protection. The noise continued and it got louder. It sounded like a person. It sounded like someone in pain. Her first reaction was that someone was hurt. Or maybe someone was being attacked by a Draculoid. She tugged tightly on the blanket in fear._

_“Jet.” She whispered gently, not wanting to be too loud. Maybe he wasn’t that asleep yet, maybe he’d still be able to wake up. The only response was a snore though. She let out a slight whine, not happy with this at all. As she studied the voice a bit more, she realized that it sounded familiar. It wasn’t just any person in pain. She recognized that voice to be Fun Ghoul’s. She was struck with panic immediately. Someone was hurting Fun Ghoul, and that wasn’t okay! She stood up and looked to Jet. She couldn’t wake up Jet, he looked so peaceful. And Kid wasn’t around, nor was Poison. She hadn’t seen either of them for hours. She wasn’t used to having to handle problems on her own, she was a child, only six years old. She knew she /had/ to do something to help Ghoul. Maybe she could find Poison, or find Kid, they could help. First, she had to find Ghoul though, to make sure that he was alright. She quietly walked away, careful not to wake Jet, and followed the sound of the voice. She saw that it was coming from near the car. Poison parked a bit far away from where they were camping tonight. He claimed that the view of the stars was better. She of course accepted, she did not know any better. She found herself walking toward the car. The closer she got to the car, the more clearly defined the sound got. She confirmed that it definitely was Fun Ghoul. The sound was coming from the car, the backseat of the car. Was someone beating Ghoul up in the backseat? Was that why she couldn’t sleep there tonight? Did Ghoul need that area to fight a bad guy? She wondered who the bad guy was, and why they were fighting in the backseat. There were no gun shots like she normally heard when the Killjoys fought. All she heard was Ghoul moaning and groaning._

_Once she stood next to the Trans Am, she immediately chose to crouch down in case the bad guy saw her. She tried to look in the windows, though they were a bit hazy. But something was still very much prominent. She could make out bright red hair. And a familiar face._

_“Poison…” She mumbled to herself. That didn’t make any sense. Why was Poison hurting Ghoul? They were friends._

_“Fuck, Frank…” She heard a voice mutter. She recognized the voice to be Party Poison’s. But who was this Frank? And in response to this, Ghoul just moaned louder. That didn’t make any sense though, because she didn’t see him get hit or anything. He just said something about some guy named Frank. And as her vision adjusted to the night and the haze of the windows, she could make out Poison’s face better. He did not look like he was harming the other. His expression was gentle, it was nice. But then she just heard Ghoul moan louder. She didn’t know what was going on, and her six year old mind did not like the sounds that Ghoul was making. He sounded like he was getting hurt more and more by the minute. She couldn’t stand it anymore, she had to tell one of the others._

_Since Kid wasn’t around, she had no choice but to wake up Jet. She ran back to camp and shook the other gently. “Jet, Jet! Wake up, it’s an emergency!” She exclaimed._

_“Hmm, what?” He asked in a groggy fashion as he sat up and looked to her. “What’s wrong?”_

_“I…I think Poison is beating up Ghoul!” She squeaked out quickly._

_“What?” Jet asked, looking very confused. “That doesn’t make any sense.”_

_“But I saw it, Ghoul was crying and making noise, he was hurt!” She pressed on._

_“Where are they?” Jet asked as he rose to his feet._

_“The car!” She said as she stood up as well. “Hurry, I don’t want Ghoul to die!” She cried out, clearly worried._

_“Stay here, don’t move no matter what.” Jet said as he ran off toward the car. She watched the other run to the car and throw the door to the backseat open._

_“Jesus fucking CHRIST, Jet!”  
_

Everything after that was a blur. At the time, being a young girl, she honestly believed that Ghoul was being hurt by Poison. After the incident, they explained that they were playing a sort of game and that the noises Ghoul made were just noises he made when excited. She of course believed it at the time. But as she grew and matured, she realized that the game was the act of sex. Though she saw the term ‘making love’ much more relevant to Party Poison and Fun Ghoul. She remembered few things about her time with the Killjoys, but one thing she remembered so clearly was Poison’s expression while he was on top of Ghoul. It was an expression of pure love and pure admiration. As well as the way he muttered Ghoul’s true name, which she learned to be Frank. He was the only Killjoy whose name she learned. She never heard Poison say anything in such a fashion. It was so sweet and full of so much care, as if his entire world was centered around Fun Ghoul, which it very well may have been.

Now at eighteen, she knew that they were not simply sex partners. Sex partners didn’t look at each other like that. Sex partners did not speak to each other like that. They had been lovers. She wished she had been aware at the time. Maybe she would have picked up on more ways that they cared and showed love for one and other. Though she often wondered if she was grateful of the role she had played during the prominence of the Killjoys, she felt extremely grateful to have at least known that the two of them had been in love. Which is why she kept this information to herself. Others would not understand, they would think they had sex out of boredom. Even she did not completely understand, she had been too young to do so.

The argument of the sexuality of the Killjoys eventually died down as quickly as it had arose. She lifted Party Poison’s mask and examined it further. “You really loved him…I’m sorry I ever thought that you hurt him.” She muttered to herself, hoping maybe by chance Poison was listening, somewhere somehow. She didn't care what people said about the Killjoys. Whether they hated them or envied them both sides of a story were hard. While much of her memory was clouded and foggy, she trusted her judgement then. 

And if she didn't or doubted her judgement, all she had to do was remember the way Posion looked at Ghoul. She never doubted her judgement or memory on that image. Because a man who loved another like that could only want to contribute good to the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short fanfic based on an idea I had. Will possibly edit as more issues of the Killjoys come out.  
> Hope you enjoyed!


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